Talk with Your Teen About Healthy Relationships (Part 1)
Parents can play a big role in teaching kids about healthy relationships. Unfortunately, many teens have relationships that are unhealthy. About 1 in 10 teens who have been on a date have also been
- Physically abused (hit, pushed, or slapped) by someone they've gone out with
- Sexually abused (kissed, touched, or forced to have sex without wanting to) by someone they've dated
The good news is, you can help your teen develop strong, respectful relationships. Start by talking with your child about how to
- Set expectations for how they want to be treated
- Recognize when a relationship is unhealthy
- Support friends dealing with unhealthy relationships
Talking about healthy relationships is a great way to show that you are available to listen and answer questions. Together, you can agree on clear rules about dating to help keep your teen safe.
How do kids learn about relationships?
Kids learn about relationships from the adults around them. When you taught your child to say "please" and "thank you" as a toddler, you were teaching respect and kindness.
Your own relationships also teach your kids how to treat others. When you treat your kids, partner, and friends in healthy and supportive ways, your kids learn from your choices.
Children learn from unhealthy experiences, too. If they experience violence at home or in the community, they are more likely to be in unhealthy relationships later on.
When should I start talking about dating?
It's best to start talking about healthy relationships before your child starts dating. Start conversations about what to look for in a romantic partner. For example, you could ask your child this:
- How do you want to be treated?
- How do you want to feel about yourself when you are with that person?
Healthy Relationships
What makes a relationship healthy?
This is true of a healthy relationship:
- Both people feel respected, supported, and valued.
- Both people make decisions together.
- Both people have friends and interests outside of the relationship.
- Both people settle disagreements with open and honest communication.
- Both people respect each other's privacy and space.
What makes a relationship unhealthy?
This tends to happen in unhealthy relationships:
- One or both people try to change the other.
- One person makes most or all of the decisions.
- One or both people drop friends and interests outside of the relationship.
- One or both people yell, threaten, hit, or throw things during arguments.
- One or both people make fun of the other's opinions or interests.
- One or both people keep track of the other all the time by calling, texting, or checking in with friends.
Teens may think it's okay to act in these ways, but these behaviors can develop into violence. If you see any of these signs, talk to your teen.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Healthfinder.gov. (Updated 2018, January 29). Talk with your teen about healthy relationships. Retrieved August 16, 2018, from https://healthfinder.gov