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Listening Tips
Listening Tips
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Being a good listener isn't always as easy as it seems. Since people typically talk at a rate of only 125 words a minute, but think around four times that fast, we often miss what's being said if we are not listening attentively. Here's a few things you can do to improve your listening skills:
- First, try to eliminate distractions. If someone wants to talk and you're in the middle of something, ask them to wait just a moment so you can give your undivided attention. When listening try to maintain eye contact as much as possible without making the speaker feel uncomfortable.
- Second, always let the other person finish their thought before responding and try not to let your own thoughts wander ahead in the mean time. You might miss something important if you are busy mentally forming your response. It often helps to reflect back your understanding of what was said before expressing your own thoughts. This simple process can eliminate many misunderstandings.
- Finally, listen to what they don't say. Most people dislike difficult situations and try to avoid conflict. You may notice discomfort in their voice or body language. They may avoid eye contact, fidget or even cross their arms defensively. You can help by offering encouragement and refraining from an emotional response. It's best to seek more information if you are getting mixed messages. You'd be surprised how often a simple difference of definitions can confuse a conversation.
As a good listener you don't have to agree with what you hear, but try to offer understanding and acceptance. Give the person speaking to you the gift of active listening and they'll find a safe place to explore ideas and work through problems. You'll have the benefit of developing closer personal and professional relationships. Relationships reinforced by a strong foundation of shared understanding.
I am Psychologist Dr. Richard Flanagan.