Talk with Your Teen About Healthy Relationships (Part 3)
Take action! Teach skills, and set rules.
Talk with your kids to help them develop realistic and healthy expectations for relationships.
Help your teen develop problem-solving skills.
Help your teen think about healthy relationships by asking how he or she would handle different situations. For example, you might ask, "What would you do if…
- "…you think your friend's partner isn't treating your friend right?"
- "…your partner calls you to come over whenever you try to hang out with your friends?"
- "…your friend yells at his or her partner in front of everyone at a party?"
It might help to use examples of relationships from TV shows, movies, or songs to start the conversation.
Listen respectfully to your teen's answer, even if you don't agree. Then you can offer your opinion and explore other options together.
Help your teen support a friend.
It's also a good idea to talk with your teen about what she can do if a friend is in an unhealthy relationship. Suggest that your teen talk to you or another adult, like a school counselor, if she notices signs of dating violence.
Set rules for dating.
As kids get older, they gain more independence. However, teens still need parents to set boundaries and expectations for their behavior. Here are some example of rules to talk about with your teen:
- Are friends allowed to come over when you aren't home?
- Can your teen go on a date with someone you haven't met?
- How can your teen reach you if he or she needs a ride home?
Be a role model.
Treat your kids and others with respect. As you talk with your teen about healthy relationships, think about your own behavior: Does it match the values you are talking about?
Treating your kids with respect also helps you build healthy relationships with them. This can make it easier to communicate with your teen about important issues like healthy relationships.
Talk to your kids about sex.
Teens who have sex with more than one person are at higher risk of being in an unhealthy relationship. Talk with your children about your values and expectations.
Talk to your kids about preventing STDs.
About half of all STD cases in the United States happen in teens and young adults ages 15 to 24.
Talk with your kids about alcohol and other drugs.
Alcohol and drugs don't cause violence or unhealthy relationships, but they can make it harder to make healthy choices. Talk to your kids about the dangers of alcohol and drugs.
Help your teen.
If you are worried, talk to your teen.
If you think your teen's relationship might be violent, take these steps:
- Write down the reasons you are worried.
- Tell your teen why you are concerned. Point out specific things that concern you.
- Listen to your teen calmly, and thank him or her for opening up.
Get help if you need it.
If you are worried about your teen's safety, there are people who can help.
Link opens in a new windowLoveisrespect (offered by the Link opens in a new windowNational Dating Abuse Helpline) is an organization that offers support and information for teens and their parents or friends who have concerns about dating relationships. Here's how you can get in touch with a trained peer advocate:
- Call 1-866-331-9474.
- Text "loveis" to 22522.
- Chat online at Link opens in a new windowhttps://www.loveisrespect.org/for-yourself/contact-us/.
You can also contact your state's domestic violence coalition to find resources near you: Link opens in a new windowhttps://ncadv.org/need-help/state-coalitions.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Healthfinder.gov. (Updated 2018, January 29). Talk with your teen about healthy relationships. Retrieved August 16, 2018, from https://healthfinder.gov