Talk with Your Teen About Healthy Relationships (Part 2)
What is dating violence?
Dating violence is when one person in a romantic relationship is physically or emotionally harmful to the other person. It can happen in any relationship, whether it's an opposite-sex (straight) or same-sex (gay) relationship. Dating violence can include
- Stalking, like watching or following a partner, or sending repeated, unwanted phone calls or texts
- Controlling behavior, like telling a partner how to dress or whom to spend time with
- Emotional abuse, like embarrassing a partner or keeping that person away from family and friends
- Physical abuse, like pushing, hitting, or throwing things
- Sexual abuse, like forcing or trying to force someone to have sex
Dating violence can happen in person, online, or with other technology (like cell phones). It can also keep happening after the relationship has ended.
Both boys and girls can experience unhealthy or unsafe relationships. Sometimes both partners act in unhealthy or unsafe ways, but using violence is never okay. It's important to talk to all kids about how to have respectful, healthy relationships.
Who is at risk for dating violence?
Dating violence can happen to anyone. Teens may be more at risk of being in unhealthy relationships if they
- Use alcohol or drugs
- Are depressed
- Have friends who are violent
- Have trouble controlling their anger
- Struggle with learning in school
- Have sex with multiple partners
- Have experienced or witnessed violence at home or in the community
What are the warning signs of dating violence?
It's common for teens to have mood swings, but sudden changes in your teen's attitude or behavior could mean that something more serious is going on. If you are worried, talk to your teen to find out more.
Watch for signs that your teen's partner may be violent.
If your teen is in a relationship with someone who is violent, your teen may
- Avoid friends, family, and school activities
- Make excuses for a partner's behavior
- Look uncomfortable or fearful around a partner
- Lose interest in favorite activities
- Get lower grades in school
- Have unexplained injuries, like bruises or scratches
Watch for signs that your teen may be violent.
Teens who use physical, emotional, or sexual violence to control their partners need help to stop. Start a conversation if your teen
- Is jealous and possessive
- Blames other people for anything that goes wrong
- Damages or ruins a partner's things
- Wants to control a partner's decisions
- Constantly texts or calls a partner
- Posts embarrassing information about a partner on websites like Facebook (including sexual information or pictures)
Help your teen stay healthy.
Dating violence can have long-term effects for both partners—even after the relationship ends. The good news is, teaching your teen about healthy relationships can help prevent these negative effects.
Someone who has experienced dating violence may struggle with
- Depression
- Low self-confidence
- Eating disorders
- Drug or alcohol abuse
- Other violent relationships
A partner who has been violent may experience
- Loss of respect from others
- Suspension or expulsion from school
- Loneliness
- Trouble with the law
You can help prevent these long-term effects of dating violence by helping your teen develop the skills for healthy relationships. Watch for signs of dating violence, and help your teen stay healthy now and in the future.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Healthfinder.gov. (Updated 2018, January 29). Talk with your teen about healthy relationships. Retrieved August 16, 2018, from https://healthfinder.gov