Benefits with The Local Choice

The Preventable Death

Hasn't everyone seen one person around them who "seems" depressed? Yes, oftentimes you see someone around you who is dealing with depression and exhibiting visible mood changes, lack of motivation, recognizable sadness, frequent absenteeism, performances issues, and so on. Have you not also witnessed frequent crying spells by the same person at the workplace, which you feel is often over trivial reasons? Yes, everyone has, but most people are not ready to see through that layer of mere sadness and teary eyes.

Depression is not a visible disease; maybe that's why many people overlook it and take it for granted. Many do not treat or at times even recognize the signs of depression. Even if you did see someone clearly expressing their concerns, people most often brush their symptoms away thinking it to be "normal sadness," "weakness," "need for attention," and "lack of strength and resilience." People tend to compare strengths of people, and sometimes equate weakness with depression.

In your daily life, you do come across people who cry for help in different ways. Since people spend most of their daytime at work, they engage a lot with their colleagues. These coworkers are the ones whom you see day in and out, at their best and at their worst. Not just those jokes in the breakroom, but you may also notice any change in your coworker's daily routine. You might wonder, "So what? What can I do?" You can do little timely things that can save a life. You are the source of help if you decide to reach out.

If someone around you at work is going through depression, how can you help them? You can be of a great help and relief to that one person whose life has become rough of late. You can be that carrier of positive social change that people always talk about. Not everybody has access to a direct mental health professional: Most people depend on immediate support from the network around them, and you can be that first face. Remember that suicide is preventable; all you need to do is to be a little sensitive to warning signs people give when dealing with suicidal thoughts.

What are warning signs?

• Preoccupation with the thought of death is often mistaken as general hopelessness, but talking about wanting to die frequently is a major warning sign.
• A trigger could be a recent life event that is stressful for a person to handle—death of a loved one, relationship breakup, recent job loss, and so on.
• The person withdraws from all possible social interactions and seeks isolation.
• Showing rage, anger, or seeking revenge can be a symptom.
• Extreme mood swings, low mood, and anxiety are common.
• Increased use of alcohol or drugs is also a warning sign.
• Self-harming behaviors (e.g. cutting oneself) is a sign in some people.
• Engaging in risk-taking behaviors, such as dangerous driving, impulsive drinking, and so on, is a symptom.
• Watch out for a person making arrangements—final words with close ones, legal arrangements, funeral plans, and so on.

Take all warning signs seriously, and don't think that these signs are a joke or mere cry for attention. A person expresses suicidal thoughts in ways like these, which is a cry for help. Try not to ignore these messages.

What should you do once you see these warning signs?

• Strike up a conversation. Don't hold yourself back to ask "What's going on?" Suicide touches almost everyone; do not judge these thoughts, and just listen with an open ear.
• Be willing to listen empathetically. The person might need to ventilate a lot of unsettled emotions. This can be time-consuming, but make yourself available for this chat.
• Try to understand how serious the suicidal thoughts are. Does the person have mere thoughts, or are they talking about a plan? Do they have weapons at home? Do they live alone? Is there a friend or family member whom you can reach out to and inform about the situation? Make a quick judgment about the person's safety, and extend your help as much as possible. If you can't do this alone, inform other trusted colleagues to help you.
• Encourage the person with suicidal thoughts to call a help line or employee assistance program (EAP), or to meet with an on-site counselor if available. This will help the person clinically in the short term.
• Help the person to identify a health professional for long-term support, and accompany them or let someone go along.
• If needed, inform your human resources department and direct supervisor about the observed suicidal thoughts.
• Follow up with the person. Text or call them at regular intervals to check on their safety as well as to convey that you care for their wellbeing.

If a Suicide Happens

You could have possibly put in all your effort to help someone hold on to life, or you could have honestly not recognized it. Sometimes you are forced to face the fact that someone you know took their own life. This is horrifying, and the grief requires empathetic understanding. Treat yourself well, and deal with the loss of your coworker by suicide:

• Expect and accept strong emotions: It can haunt you now, but know that you are reacting to a tragic loss, and strong emotions are OK initially.
• Reassure yourself: Keep reminding yourself that this is a phase, and it will pass.
• Use this as an experience to reach out to more people: Now that you have an experience that triggered your strongest emotions, get yourself prepared to create more awareness and reach out to as many people as possible. They need you. There is someone else out there who needs someone to turn to when their own thoughts and strengths forsake them.
• Reach out to the family if you think it is appropriate. Offer to provide any kind of support—this might be social and emotional support, or help with practical things (e.g. making dinner, running errands they are too grief-stricken to complete on their own). This can help you pay your last respects and show your concern. This in turn can help you heal.
• After the event, you may associate your workplace with negative or hostile reminders of the person who took their life. Initially, days can be gloomy at work, but pick yourself up, talk to your coworkers, reach out to your direct supervisor, and work toward making your workplace vibrant and warm again. You may consider hosting a memorial service at work, rearranging the space to create a new environment, or other ideas.
• It is very important for you to have grief counseling at work. Ask your managers if this can be provided, and make yourself comfortable in using the on-site counseling service (if available) or contacting the EAP. If you feel this suicide has affected or triggered your own unsettled emotions and trauma, seek out professional help on an individual basis.
• If things are overwhelming, take some time out for yourself. You deserve it. Take some quality alone time for yourself, and plan a trip. Change your place of living with a short vacation. De-stress yourself with mindfulness exercises, and get back to work with a conviction to help people with suicidal thoughts.

Often in life people think, "What can I do about it?" Although in some situations there may be nothing that would have helped, despite best efforts, in other situations, sometimes only you can do that one little thing that may save a life. Don't underestimate any tiny gesture you can give, and give it freely. Who knows? You might be able to save a precious life. Your kind gestures and support can prevent a death if you choose to make that extra effort and show that extra kindness.