Benefits with The Local Choice

Managing Conflict on Your Team

Conflict is a natural part of work, as it is in all human relations. Handled well, it can be an opportunity to hear new ideas and opinions, and to build a stronger team through deeper understanding of each other. But too often, it is allowed to fester into division and animosity—mostly because managers ignore it out of fear of getting tangled up in the emotions of the situation.

Managing conflict is a critical part of your job as a manager: a skill you need to learn and a responsibility you need to face. Below are some tips that can help you manage it productively.

When You Encounter Conflict on Your Team

• Don't ignore it and hope it will go away. Address it quickly to prevent escalation and head off its productivity- and morale-damaging effects on your team.
• Remain neutral. Don't take sides. You need to earn the confidence of all parties in the conflict in order to help find a resolution.
• Ask questions to understand what the conflict is about. Don't jump to conclusions based on the first answers you hear. The conflict on the surface may be masking a deeper or longer-standing problem.
• Encourage employees to work it out themselves. An effective team is able to work out conflicts on its own, without a manager's intervention at every obstacle. Offer coaching on how to talk and listen to each other in positive ways, and when to step back if emotions get heated. You might offer to facilitate a discussion if that would be helpful.

If the Conflicting Parties Are Unable to Find a Solution on Their Own

• Get a sense of the emotional level of the conflict. In a "cold" conflict, people snub each other and don't talk. Your role will be to get them to open up and talk to each other. In a "hot" conflict, people express too much emotion. Your role will be to cool them down in order to have a productive conversation.
• Set clear expectations as to acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Remind employees that that you will not tolerate behaviors such as yelling, rudeness, or shunning, and that you expect people to treat each other with respect. Disrespectful behavior is a performance problem you need to manage.
• Listen to both sides. Let people tell their stories and express their emotions. If the conflict is highly emotional, you might choose to hear out each side separately before bringing them together.
• Work to get at the root of the conflict. Have the people involved define the problem for you. Ask questions to get at the real source of the conflict, the underlying need of each side. Work to understand how personalities and communication styles might be contributing to the difference.
• Encourage both sides to practice active listening. It's not enough for them to sit silently and wait their turn to talk. In active listening, one person really listens to the other person, empathizing and paraphrasing what they have said to confirm that it has been heard and understood.
• Ask each side to suggest ideas for moving toward a resolution.
• Keep notes on all relevant information, including employees' behavior and steps taken by all parties to resolve the conflict. These notes may be important later if conflicts recur or you observe a pattern of problem behavior.
• Seek help from your human resources (HR) representative, either for guidance on how to mediate the conflict or to ask for someone else to step in as a mediator. You should always alert HR, and invite their involvement when you observe unacceptable behavior, such as physical or verbal abuse or inappropriate language, or when a conflict persists and your attempts to resolve it have failed.
• Talk with your employee support program. They may be able to refer you to an experienced management expert, who can serve as a sounding board and help you plan discussions with employees. The employee support program may also be able to help with positive conflict-management resources for your particular situation. Note that your support program will not act as mediator between employees. If employees in conflict are referred to the program, they will talk separately with different specialists.

As you work to understand the conflict, make sure you're not dealing with an issue of harassment or bullying, which may be governed by law and will be covered by your organization's policies and guidelines:

• Harassment is deliberate and repeated behavior that annoys, disturbs, frightens, or irritates another person. Remember that harassment is not determined by the intent of the behavior but by how the behavior is perceived.
• Bullying is behavior that involves verbal abuse, including insults, malicious gossip, and personal attacks and criticism.

Both harassment and bullying hurt productivity, can cause division in a work group, and can lower team morale. Both can also lead an employee to leave an organization or to file a lawsuit.

Always seek help from your manager, HR, or the employee support program if you have concerns about harassment, bullying, or an angry employee, or if you are dealing with a chronic behavior problem that may require disciplinary measures.