Welcome to another episode of our wellness podcast. I'm Mark DeFee and with me is KC Schroder. We're both licensed therapists who focus on workplace mental health.

We're also pretty good friends, so we're gonna have a little bit of fun. Maybe tell some stories but most importantly, we're gonna give you some great information to help you develop both personally and professionally. Does that sound good? All right! Let's dive in!

[Music]

So, Mark, today we are going to be talking about autism. Did you know that since 2008 there's been a 30% increase in the amount of people diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder?

Uh yeah, I did.

Okay, did you know that 1 in 54 children are diagnosed with some sort of autism spectrum disorder?

Actually yeah, I did.

All right, did you know that 1 in 34 boys and 1 in 144 girls are diagnosed with some sort of autism spectrum disorder?

I did. And I have a question for you.

What's that?

Did you know we were in the same meeting when we learned these statistics?

Okay, okay, I guess I'm not as smart as I sound. [laughs]

It's a good try.

Yeah, I know I know I tried. Mark and I were lucky enough to sit down with Georgie Bracalello, who is a part of our Anthem autism spectrum disorder team, and she was nice enough to really just have a conversation with us about, about autism. And about how it affects both children and people and their caregivers.

Yeah, it was an enlightening conversation. Just listening to her talk about so many different aspects of it because, even as a clinician, I think so much about the patient, the child and everything that that individual needs to learn the skills necessary for them to be successful at life. But, I think one of the things that surprised me the most is that in this half hour conversation we had with her we spent so much time talking about the parents and the adults in this child's life. And it made complete sense because these… this is a very complex diagnosis that requires a lot of coordination and usually, there are co-occurring diagnoses with attention deficit disorder or anxiety, depression.

So, it makes sense that it is wearying on the parents as well.

And you know, KC, like we talked about, we can't hit on everything in these podcasts. So, we figured, today, why don't we stay focused on the adults and making sure that they know how to take care of themselves?

Yeah, yeah, you know, I think it's really important that we do this type of podcast for the caregivers, right? I'm a huge believer in the oxygen mask theory. When you get on a plane and they tell you: "Place your oxygen. In case of an emergency, place your oxygen mask over yourself before your child."

We have to do the same things as parents, right? We have to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of our kids.

And this is especially true if you have a child with autism or other complex diagnoses, right? It's important to point out that, just like people who are diagnosed with autism, the folks who are taking care of people who have a diagnosis of autism, the parents, the families, might have a really wide range of reaction to that diagnosis.

Some might need a lot of support. Some might feel anxiety and some might be almost relieved that they can now put a name to what's been going on with their child or their loved one.

Yea

h, yeah, absolutely. And one of the things that Georgie said that stuck with me in terms of taking care of yourself is being aware what you're experiencing. She talked about the loss of what parents were expecting for their child, you know, they were almost grieving the fact that their child's expected trajectory in life has changed. And she even talked about how parents will ask clinicians or doctors: are they gonna have a normal life? Are they gonna go to prom? Are they gonna graduate college?

All these things are going through their mind because they don't know what the future holds. That, that predictability has been shattered for them.

Mmm absolutely, absolutely. She also touched upon, which I thought was really interesting, is, you know, with autism spectrum. It's a spectrum, right? It's a huge umbrella where, you know, some children are… they can't really function much at all. They might have to use devices to even communicate, and then you have on the other end of the spectrum, you have children who are highly functioning.

Maybe it's more socially, they're struggling or something of that nature.

But the spectrum is so wide and so not only did she talk about, you know, the grief that the parents might experience, but she also talked about the constant kind of anxiety, about really not knowing what's around the next corner, you know. Is my child gonna get worse? Is he or she gonna get better? And trying to live with that; it really is an everyday anxiety. And I think as parents again we go through anxiety.

I get, I get you know scared when my child runs a fever but that's every once in a while. What if you lived with that every single day of your life? You have a different level of anxiety.

And the anxiety you mentioned was around their child's ability to function and grow. I think, you know, another thing we hit on was the anxiety of "how's my child gonna be treated?" You know, this diagnosis is stigmatizing. And before then, you know, you could maybe laugh off the quirks you're seeing or whatever.

But you know, once people hear that diagnosis things change. And they're viewed differently and that's another worry for parents and so that, that self-care is huge. And she also mentioned how people might be able to support these parents. She brought up how co-workers or maybe direct reports or you know, just friends. What do you do to support parents with a child with autism? And I wrote it down in all caps. She said the gift of time find ways to give them time back. And if it's personal time, where they can go take care of themselves, even better.

But, I mean she was adamant about, that's the first thing you do is give these people time.

Mmm. Time and flexibility, right?

Whether it's your co-worker, somebody in your life. Maybe it is even somebody who works for you. Maybe they report up to or something of that nature. Giving that the, giving them the time is necessary but the flexibility.

And acknowledging I think is a huge piece as well.

Acknowledging what their life must be like and knowing that they have this constant anxiety.

And that they might need that flexibility that time because of this constant anxiety.

Yeah, yeah.

Not to mention all the appointments and all the logistics that go into carrying some, for somebody with an ASD diagnosis.

Yeah, yeah and that, and that, like we've mentioned, it can become exhausting.

And so, whatever we can do to support the people in our life.

And sometimes we won't even know because it's not something that you just readily come out and tell people. So, when someone does share that with you, I'd say just appreciate the magnitude of that; that they're opening up about something that they probably don't tell too many people.

And if they're doing that, in my mind, they're giving you an opportunity and opening to say "what can I do? What can I take off your plate? How can I support you?"

Absolutely, absolutely.

All right, KC, well, what final thoughts are we leaving our listeners with today?

Well, I think that if you are somebody who is a parent or a caregiver of somebody with autism, please know that there are resources out there to help you better take care of yourself.

If you're somebody who knows a caretaker of somebody with autism, there's plenty of resources that, that are out there that can help you edu... can educate yourself about autism in ways you can help that person in your life.

Yeah, and Georgie brought a point, great one, autismspeaks.org.

So yeah, check that out if you need additional support. Like KC said, there's so much out there.

Don't feel like you're going this alone. And if you're listening to this because you have someone you care about, who is a parent, know that you can have a significant impact on them. It just starts with reaching out.

Absolutely.

All right everybody, that is our episode for this week. We hope you've enjoyed it.

Until we speak again, take care and be well.