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When a Parent Has Cancer: How Teens Can Help Parents

How You Can Help Your Parent

Here are some things that others have done to help their parent at home. Pick one or two things to try each week.

Help with care.

  • Spend time with your parent. Watch a movie together, read the paper to your parent, or ask for help with your homework. Show your parent affection by giving hugs or saying, "I love you." You can also choose to just hang out in silence.
  • Lend a hand. Bring your parent a glass of water or offer to make a snack or small meal.

Help by being thoughtful.

  • Try to be upbeat, but be real, too. Being positive can be good for you and your whole family, but don't feel like you always have to act cheerful, especially if it's not how you really feel. It's okay to share your thoughts with your parent—and let them comfort you. Be yourself.
  • Be patient. Your whole family is under stress. If you find you are losing your cool, listen to music, read, or go outside to shoot hoops or go for a run.
  • Share a laugh. You've probably heard that laughter is good medicine. Watch a comedy on TV with your parent or share jokes. Also, remember that you're not responsible for making everyone happy. You can only do so much.
  • Buy your parent a new scarf or hat. Your parent might enjoy a new hat or scarf if he or she has lost their hair during treatment.

Help by staying involved.

  • Keep your parent in the loop. Tell your parent what you did today. Try to share what is going on in your life, and ask your parent how his or her day was.
  • Talk about family history. Ask your parent about the past. Look through pictures or photo albums. Talk about what you're both most proud of, your best memories, and how you both have met challenges. Record, write, or make drawings about what you and your parent share with each other.
  • Keep a journal together. Write thoughts or poems, draw, or put photos in a notebook that the two of you share. This can help you share your feelings when it might be hard to speak them aloud.
  • Help with younger brothers and sisters. Play with your brothers and sisters to give your parent a break. Pull out games or read a book with your siblings. This will help you stay close and also give your parent time to rest.

National Cancer Institute. (2012, February). How you can help your parent (p.47). In When your parent has cancer: A guide for teens (Chapter 9). Retrieved February 2, 2015, from http://www.cancer.gov

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