Changing Family Roles
Family responsibilities often change when a family member is disabled.
This may happen for every member of the family. The parents may have to continue serving as the primary caregiver for an extended time when a younger person becomes disabled. A son or daughter may need to become the caretaker for a disabled parent. You or others in your family may find these role changes to be very difficult to accept. Often the roles change in some ways, but not in others, leading to some confusion about just how you should act.
The disabled family member may become the center of attention.
A great deal of energy and attention is focused on the impaired person. Other family members, including spouses or other children, can feel neglected. They may then become resentful, because they feel they are not getting what they need or are used to. Such things as chores must often be shifted to others, who may feel burdened. Severe disruptions of family roles sometimes result in divorce or withdrawal of one family member from all family activities.
Different family members will respond in different ways.
There is no one correct or right response. Some family members will not be helpful at all, because they cannot cope with the disorder. On the other hand, some people who care for a disabled family member have reported that their families experience a new kind of closeness, working together to deal with stressful situations. Some people even show strengths that they never knew they had.
Tips for Coping with Role Changes
In order to cope with your family's changing roles and responsibilities you might try the following:
- Ask for help when you need it. Family members and support groups can be important sources of help.
- Sit down with family members to ask what they are willing to do to help. Give them ideas about how they could be helpful. Do not assume that they know what you need.
- Assume that most people are doing the best they can under the circumstances.
- Recognize that you are dealing with a stressful situation. If you are having difficulty dealing with the stresses, it is not because you are inadequate.
- Schedule fun time for all family members. Make special time for everyone in the family.
- Keep all family members informed of the details of the disability and treatment.
Workplace Options (WPO). (Reviewed 2024). Changing family roles. Raleigh, NC: Author.