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Positive Parenting Tips: Teens

The following sections offer positive parenting tips for teens.

Young Teenagers (12–14 years)

Developmental Milestones

This is a time of many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes. Hormones change as puberty begins. Most boys grow facial and pubic hair and their voices deepen. Most girls grow pubic hair and breasts and start their period. They might be worried about these changes and how they are looked at by others. This also will be a time when they might face peer pressure to use alcohol, tobacco products, and drugs, and to have sex. Other challenges can be eating disorders, depression, and family problems. At this age, teens make more of their own choices about friends, sports, studying, and school. They become more independent, with their own personality and interests, although parents are still very important.

Here is some information on how young teens develop:

Positive Parenting Tips

The following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:

• Be honest and direct with your teenager when talking about sensitive subjects, such as drugs, drinking, smoking, and sex.
• Meet and get to know their friends.
• Show an interest in your teen's school life.
• Help them make healthy choices while encouraging them to make their own decisions.
• Respect your teen's opinions, and take into account their thoughts and feelings. It is important that they know you are listening.
• When there is a conflict, be clear about goals and expectations (like getting good grades, keeping things clean, and showing respect), but allow them input on how to reach those goals (like when and how to study or clean).

Teenagers (15–17 years)

Developmental Milestones

This is a time of changes for how teenagers think, feel, and interact with others, and how their bodies grow. Most girls will be physically mature by now, and most will have completed puberty. Boys might still be maturing physically during this time. Your teen might have concerns about body size, shape, or weight. Eating disorders also can be common, especially among girls. During this time, they are developing their unique personality and opinions. Relationships with friends are still important, yet your teen will have other interests as they develop a clearer sense of who they are. This is also an important time to prepare for more independence and responsibility; many teenagers start working, and many will be leaving home soon after high school.

Here is some information on how teens develop:

Positive Parenting Tips

The following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your teen during this time:

• Talk with your teen about their concerns, and pay attention to any changes in their behavior. Ask if they have had suicidal thoughts, particularly if they seem sad or depressed. Asking about suicidal thoughts will not cause them to have these thoughts, but it will let them know that you care about how they feel. Seek professional help if necessary.
• Show interest in school and extracurricular interests and activities, and encourage them to become involved in activities, such as sports, music, theater, and art.
• Encourage them to volunteer and become involved in civic activities in the community.
• Compliment your teen, and celebrate efforts and accomplishments.
• Show affection. Spend time together doing things you enjoy.
• Respect their opinions. Listen without playing down their concerns.
• Encourage your teenager to develop solutions to problems or conflicts. Help them learn to make good decisions. Create opportunities for them to use their own judgment, and be available for advice and support.
• If they engage in interactive, internet media, such as games, chat rooms, and instant messaging, encourage them to make good decisions about what they post and the amount of time spent on these activities.
• If your teen works, use the opportunity to talk about expectations, responsibilities, and other ways of behaving respectfully in a public setting.
• Talk with and help them plan ahead for difficult or uncomfortable situations. Discuss what they can do if they are in a group and someone is using drugs or under pressure to have sex, or is offered a ride by someone who has been drinking.
• Respect your teen's need for privacy.
• Encourage them to get enough sleep and exercise, and to eat healthy, balanced meals.