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Talking to Your Kids About Death

It's hard to explain to your kids when a relative or pet dies. It's harder to find the words if you're grieving yourself. Here are some tips to help you through a tough time.

Listen, ask questions, and be honest.

You know your child the best. He or she may ask a lot of questions, and it's OK that you don't have all the answers. Try to use clear and simple terms. Avoid using phrases like went away or went to sleep or even that your family lost the person. Young kids think very literally, and it may make them afraid to go to sleep or scared when someone goes away.

Be patient and open. Allow your child to work through his or her grief as much as possible. Reassure your child that he or she did nothing wrong or anything to cause the death. Keeping open lines of communication may help prevent grief from being kept inside.

Be sure to make other important adults in your child's life aware of the death. Teachers, coaches, and religious leaders can offer additional support.

Provide outlets.

It may help your child if you plan something special to remember the person or pet that died. You can try to

  • Create art projects
  • Write a poem or story
  • Look at pictures
  • Plant a tree
  • Run a race in the person's honor
  • Volunteer in memory of the person
  • Visit the grave or a special place

This may be a painful time for your family. Remember that there's no right or wrong way to grieve. There is no amount of time that is right or wrong for the grieving process, but hopefully the more time passes, the less sad you will feel. Remembering the person and the good memories you have will help you and your family feel better.

Kids.gov. (2015, October 4). Talking to your kids about death. Retrieved November 19, 2015, from http://blog.usa.gov/

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