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Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief is the normal mourning that occurs when a person or a family is expecting a death. Anticipatory grief has many of the same symptoms as those experienced after a death has occurred. It includes all of the thinking, feeling, cultural and social reactions to an expected death that are felt by the individual and the family.

Anticipatory grief includes depression, extreme concern for the dying person, preparing for the death, and adjusting to changes caused by the death. Anticipatory grief gives the family more time to slowly get used to the reality of the loss. People are able to complete unfinished business with the dying person (for example, saying"good-bye,","I love you," or"I forgive you").

Anticipatory grief may not always occur. Anticipatory grief does not mean that before the death, a person feels the same kind of grief as the grief felt after a death. There is not a set amount of grief that a person will feel. The grief experienced before a death does not make the grief after the death last a shorter amount of time.

Grief that follows an unplanned death is different from anticipatory grief. Unplanned loss may overwhelm the coping abilities of a person, making normal functioning impossible. Mourners may not be able to realize the total impact of their loss. Even though the person recognizes that the loss occurred, he or she may not be able to accept the loss mentally and emotionally. Following an unexpected death, the mourner may feel that the world no longer has order and does not make sense.

Some people believe that anticipatory grief is rare. To accept a loved one's death while he or she is still alive may leave the mourner feeling that the dying person has been abandoned. Expecting the loss often makes the attachment to the dying person stronger. Although anticipatory grief may help the family and loved ones, the dying person may experience too much grief, causing them to become withdrawn.

National Cancer Institute, National Institutes of Health. (Updated 2013, March 6). Bereavement, mourning, and grief. Retrieved October 31, 2016, from http://www.cancer.gov

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  • Mourning the Death of a Spouse or Domestic Partner: Part 2

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    • Understanding Resilience
    • Bereavement: Coping with Loss
    • What Terminal Patients Really Want
    • Helping Your Child Cope with Death
    • When a Parent Has Cancer: How Teens Can Help Parents
    • Dealing with Difficult Emotions
    • Managing Grief After Disaster (Part 3)
    • Coping with the Death of a Student or Staff Member (Part 1)