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Managing an Employee Who May Be Suicidal

Suicide is one of the leading causes of death, a tragedy with painful ripple effects on survivors: family, friends, and coworkers. It is also a frightening issue to think or talk about, one that many people would prefer to avoid. As a manager, you may be faced with an employee who is at risk of suicide. How will you recognize the risk, and what should you do?

Warning Signs of Suicidal Risk

Many of the warning signs of suicidal risk are similar to those for stress and anxiety, though sometimes they are more extreme. People considering suicide often have been worn down by stress or by setbacks in their lives. Loss or anticipated loss—from a loved one's death, a separation or divorce, declining health, or deteriorating finances—can lead a person to suicidal thoughts. The suicidal person is often lonely, without a strong social support network. Depression can make life seem hopeless.

Signs of suicidal risk may include changes in behavior, such as

• Deteriorating job performance
• Dramatic mood changes
• Lack of attention to personal appearance
• Withdrawal from colleagues
• Giving away prized possessions
• Interest in end-of-life matters, such as wills, insurance beneficiaries, or funeral plans

The employee might also express suicidal thoughts by

• Talking about not being present in the future
• Making statements that indicate hopelessness ("Life is meaningless." "I'm trapped." "You would be better off without me." "No one would miss me if...")
• Posting messages on social media about death or hopelessness

If you hear this kind of talk, whether expressed directly to you or through another employee, question it, kindly but firmly. You won't make the situation worse by clarifying it, and an open conversation with you may be the person's first step toward getting well. It's important that you get past your own fear of talking about suicide in order to have a helpful conversation. The employee support program provides valuable consultation to help managers prepare for difficult and sensitive conversations such as this.

If an Employee Admits to Thinking About Suicide

You'll want to get your employee to professional help, and the way you do this is very important. Demonstrating respect and concern for the employee can make them more willing to seek help and can contribute to the healing process:

• Let the employee know that you care about them as a person.
• Listen to the employee's concerns, and try to understand the depth of their feelings. Give them your undivided attention. Remember that listening also includes body language, such as eye contact. When responding, reflect back what you are hearing to help them understand that you are taking their concerns seriously. Don't be afraid to ask direct questions like, "Are you thinking about taking your own life?" Let them talk openly. Show compassion, and speak in a nonjudgmental tone.
• Don't leave the person alone, whether on the phone or in person.
• Don't debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or whether the person's feelings are right or wrong. Don't minimize their problems or give advice. They need to hear that what they are experiencing is not their fault and that you are there to help.
• If any of the employee's problems are related to work, offer to address those problems, then follow through on your promises.
• Do not pry into the employee's personal problems, but listen in a caring way if the employee chooses to share them.
• Don't try to solve the employee's problems. Your role is to listen and show that you understand that those problems are real and painful, and to help guide the employee to someone who can provide meaningful help.
• Protect the employee's privacy within the workplace, while seeking professional help. Your Human Resources (HR) department needs to know about the problem and can help both the employee and you. But think carefully about what other employees or higher management need to know.

Mobilize a response.

Seek help from your HR department, and contact the employee support program to speak with a specialist. Alert your manager. With the employee's consent, call the employee support program on their behalf, or your community's crisis intervention or suicide prevention helpline. In an urgent situation, call 911.

Follow up.

Once your employee has connected with a support program or has started to receive professional help, continue to show that you care:

• Find out if the employee needs to adjust work hours to participate in therapy.
• If the therapist is willing to offer you guidance directly—at the employee's request and with their consent—find out whether you should continue to challenge the employee as you normally do or temporarily reassign them to less challenging duties.

Check in with your support system.

Working with a suicidal person can be very stressful. Don't underestimate its emotional toll on you. It is common for supporters in a situation of suicide risk to

• Have feelings of guilt ("Did I do enough?")
• Become emotionally numb
• Be angry or irritable
• Sleep too much or not at all
• Be emotional
• Use alcohol or drugs to dull uncomfortable feelings

Pay attention to these reactions, and don't hesitate to get support for yourself, whether from the employee support program, your manager, or your own social support network. It is a totally natural reaction, and support can help you process your feelings in a way that helps you heal.