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Helping Your Loved One Who Is Suicidal (Part 3)

3. Helping Your Loved One During and After a Crisis

Questions to Ask Providers or the Treatment Team

As part of your loved one's care, you may meet many different providers through acute crisis care and follow-up. Be prepared to ask your questions again to different people at each step in the process, because the answers may change based on the provider's role. Remember, you are a crucial part of your loved one's care, so feel confident to ask any questions you have of the treatment team. Don't feel rushed. Don't be embarrassed if you don't understand. It is absolutely your right to ask questions of your providers, and even to challenge their decisions. Below is a list of questions that can be used in a variety of treatment settings, from an outpatient primary care visit to an inpatient psychiatric facility:

• What is your role in my loved one's care?
• Can you explain how you are making decisions about my family member's care or treatment?
• What does the treatment plan entail for my loved one? How will they be monitored, how will you measure treatment effectiveness, and what is the length of stay?
• Can you review the details of the discharge plan? What type of providers and treatments are planned, and what exactly will occur at follow-up appointments?
• What types of treatments and interventions will they receive here, and what is the evidence and risks/benefits of each one?
• Are you prescribing medication as part of my loved one's treatment? How long until the medication works? Are there any side effects?
• What can I do to be most helpful to my loved one's treatment (specifically with regards to the safety and prevention plan)?
• Who can I speak to if I have a concern about the services for my loved one?
• What does the safety plan look like, and can I have a copy?
• Who gets to see my loved one's medical records, charts, or documentation?
• What payment options are available for my loved one's care? Who decides which services are covered and which are not?
• Can you give me documentation that I can pass on to my loved one's school or work to explain their absence?
• What should we look for after this, and when should we seek more help, such as contacting other local resources and providers?

Help your loved one prevent future suicidal behaviors and attempts.

When your loved one is not in crisis or at immediate risk of attempting suicide, there are steps you can take to help them cope with distress and prevent a future crisis by creating a safety net.

Make a safety plan.

A safety plan is a written list of coping strategies and resources to remind a person having suicidal thoughts to focus on activities or reach out to people who may be able to help. Help your loved one create a personalized plan in collaboration with a provider. One important safety step is to make the environment as safe as possible by removing sharp objects, guns, and/or pills. Learn more and get templates for how to create a safety plan at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) (Link opens in a new windowhttps://suicidesafetyplan.com).

Help to strengthen protective factors.

Just as exercise and healthy eating can guard against heart disease, protective factors can help buffer individuals against suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Some examples include¹

• Strong relationships with your care providers and communicating with them early and often when there are concerns
• Use of a treatment plan, regular follow-up visits, and medication and/or psychotherapy
• Family and community support (connectedness)
• Easy access to effective care for mental health, physical, and substance abuse disorders
• Religious or personal beliefs that are against suicide
• Problem-solving and conflict resolution skills

Stay connected to your loved one.

Stay connected by following up with your loved one to see how they are doing. Give them a call, or send a text. This type of contact can increase feelings of connectedness and show your ongoing support. Research shows that brief, supportive, ongoing contact can help reduce the risk of suicide.²

Seek support for yourself.

Caring for loved ones with suicidal thoughts and behaviors is incredibly challenging. Sometimes family and friends can do everything in their power to help a loved one; however, death by suicide or a suicide attempt cannot be prevented. In this case, it is very important to know that it is not your fault and that those with strong suicidal thoughts are suffering from an illness that you are not responsible for treating or preventing. It is imperative that you do not blame yourself or others in this situation and that you get the necessary support for yourself. Some ways to get this support and engage in self-care include practicing healthy coping skills and getting support from friends and family, community groups, and obtaining help from a professional. Don't be afraid to discuss how you feel with your primary care doctor or look for a mental health professional yourself. Join a peer support group to connect with other families who are going through the same challenges.

References

1. U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (2019, September 2). Risk and protective factors. Retrieved January 10, 2023, from https://www.cdc.gov
2. Joiner, T. (2009, June). The interpersonal-psychological theory of suicidal behavior: Current empirical status. Psychological Science Agenda. Retrieved January 10, 2023, from https://www.apa.org