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Anger: Events, Cues, and Control

Events and Cues

In this article, you will learn how to analyze an episode of anger. This involves learning how to identify events and cues that indicate an escalation of anger, and developing a plan to defuse that anger.

Events That Trigger Anger

When you get angry, it is because you have encountered an event in your life that has provoked your anger. Many times, specific events touch on sensitive areas. These sensitive areas, or red flags, usually refer to long-standing issues that can easily lead to anger. In addition to events that you experience in the here and now, you may also recall an event from your past that made you angry. Just thinking about these past events may make you angry now. Here are examples of events or issues that can trigger anger:

• Long waits to see your doctor
• Traffic congestion
• Crowded buses
• A friend joking about a sensitive topic
• A friend not paying back money owed to you
• Being wrongly accused
• Having to clean up someone else's mess
• Having an untidy roommate
• Having a neighbor who plays music too loud
• Being placed on hold for long periods of time while on the telephone
• Being given wrong directions
• Rumors being spread about you that are not true
• Having money or property stolen from you

Cues to Anger: Four Cue Categories

A second important way to monitor anger is to identify the cues that occur in response to the anger-provoking event. These cues serve as warning signs that you have become angry and that your anger is escalating. Cues can be broken down into four cue categories—physical, behavioral, emotional, and cognitive cues:

1. Physical cues—how your body responds; such as with an increased heart rate, tightness in the chest, or feeling hot or flushed
2. Behavioral cues—what you do; such as clench your fists, raise your voice, or stare at others
3. Emotional cues—other feelings that may occur along with anger; such as fear, hurt, jealousy, or disrespect
4. Cognitive cues—what you think about in response to the event; such as hostile self-talk or images of aggression and revenge

Anger Control Plans

An anger control plan refers to the list of strategies you will identify to manage and control your anger. Up to now you have been focusing on how to monitor your anger. Now, you can begin to develop your own anger control plan and learn how you can use specific strategies to control anger. Some people refer to their anger control plans as their toolbox and the specific strategies they use to control their anger as the tools in their toolbox.

An effective set of strategies for controlling anger should include both immediate and preventive strategies. Examples of immediate strategies include time-outs, deep-breathing exercises, and thought stopping. Examples of preventive strategies include developing an exercise program and changing irrational beliefs.

Time-Outs

The time-out is a basic anger management strategy that should be in everyone's anger control plan. A time-out can be used formally or informally. In its simplest form, it means taking a few deep breaths and thinking instead of reacting. It may also mean leaving the situation that is causing the escalation or simply stopping the discussion that is provoking your anger.

The formal use of a time-out involves your relationships with other people. These relationships may involve family members, friends, and coworkers. The formal use of a time-out involves having an agreement, or a prearranged plan, by which any of the parties involved can call a time-out, and to which all parties have agreed in advance. The person calling the time-out can leave the situation if necessary. It is agreed, however, that he or she will return to either finish the discussion or postpone it, depending on whether the parties involved feel they can successfully resolve the issue.

A time-out is important because it can be used effectively in the heat of the moment, even if a person's anger is escalating quickly. A time-out is also effective when used with other strategies. For example, you can take a time-out and go for a walk. You can also take a time-out and call a trusted friend or family member or write in your journal. These other strategies help you calm down during your time-out period.

Sample of an Anger Control Plan

1. Take a time-out, whether formal or informal.
2. Talk to a friend, someone you trust.
3. Exercise by taking a walk, going to the gym, and so on.
4. Attend 12-step meetings.
5. Explore your other feelings beneath the anger.