Men and Depression: Helping Yourself or Others
How can I help a loved one who is depressed?
It's important to remember that a person with depression cannot simply "snap out of it." It is also important to know that they may not recognize the symptoms and may not want to get professional treatment.
If you think someone has depression, you can support them by helping find a doctor or mental health professional and then helping make an appointment. Even men who have trouble recognizing that they are depressed may agree to seek help for physical symptoms, such as feeling tired or run down. They may be willing to talk with their regular health professional about a new difficulty they are having at work or losing interest in doing things they usually enjoy. Talking with a primary care provider may be a good first step toward learning about and treating possible depression.
Other ways to help include
- Offering support, understanding, patience, and encouragement
- Listening carefully and talking with them
- Never ignoring comments about suicide, and alerting the therapist or doctor
- Helping increase their level of physical and social activity by inviting them out for hikes, games, and other events (If the answer is "no," keep trying, but don't push them to take on too much too soon.)
- Encouraging them to report any concerns about medications to their health care provider
- Ensuring that they get to doctor's appointments
- Reminding them that with time and treatment, the depression will lift
How can I help myself if I am depressed?
The most important thing to do is see a health care professional as soon as possible. Research shows that getting help sooner rather than later can relieve symptoms quicker and reduce the length of time treatment is needed. Here are some other things that may help:
- Spend time with other people, and talk with a friend or relative about your feelings.
- Increase your level of physical activity. Regular exercise can help people with mild to moderate depression and may be one part of a treatment plan for those with severe depression. Talk with your health care professional about what kind of exercise is right for you.
- Break up large tasks into small ones, and tackle what you can as you can. Don't try to do too many things at once.
- Delay important decisions until you feel better. Discuss decisions with others who know you well.
- Keep stable daily routines (e.g. eat and go to bed at the same time every day).
- Avoid alcohol.
As you continue treatment, gradually you will start to feel better. Remember that if you are taking an antidepressant, it may take several weeks for it to start working. Try to do things that you used to enjoy before you had depression. Go easy on yourself.
Where can I go for help?
If you are unsure of where to go for help, ask your family doctor or health care provider. Check with your insurance carrier to find someone who participates in your plan. Hospital doctors can help in an emergency.In nonemergency situations, you can also reach out to your employee assistance program (EAP) who can help find resources for you.
What if I or someone I know is in crisis?
Men with depression are at risk for suicide. If you or someone you know is in crisis, get help quickly:
- Call your doctor.
- Call 911 for emergency services.
- Go to the nearest hospital emergency room.
- Call the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (Link opens in a new windowhttps://988lifeline.org) at 988 or 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255).
- Veterans can call the Veterans Crisis Line at 988 or 800-273-8255 then press 1, text 838255, or visit Link opens in a new windowhttps://www.veteranscrisisline.net/get-help-now/call.
In many instances, a crisis can be avoided when friends or family members are involved in the treatment and can recognize crisis warning signs. Crisis warning signs are different for different people: One person may have more trouble sleeping and become more agitated; another person may sleep more, stop eating, and focus on disturbing thoughts. Creating a plan that lists the loved one's warning signs—those actions that usually occur before a crisis—and the health care provider's contact information may help avoid a crisis.
"It starts slowly and the only person you're talking to is yourself. You're lost. It's dark, the pain is 24/7... you just want it to end... I'd drink and... I tried to numb my head... but you have to deal with it. It doesn't just go away."—Patrick, Retired Sergeant
"It affects the way you think. It affects the way you feel. It affects the way you love... It's just a blanket that covers everything... and it's one that's just so asphyxiating. And at times you just say it's enough already. It just feels like enough."—Steve, Writer
U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH), National Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH). (Revised 2017, January). Men and depression (NIH Pub. No. QF 17-5300). Retrieved July 18, 2023, from https://www.nimh.nih.gov