How to Deal with Homesickness in College

It's common for students to feel homesick as they begin college. Many are living away from home for the first time and miss their families, old friends, and the familiar surroundings of home. Even students who have looked forward eagerly to the independence of college life can be surprised to feel the pangs of homesickness.

What is homesickness?

Homesickness is simply the feeling of missing home—of being among people who know and love you, eating familiar food, and being in a familiar place. It's not a sickness at all, but rather a feeling of loss and grief. Some students experience homesickness as feelings of sadness for the first few weeks of college. For others, the experience of homesickness can be more intense and long lasting, with feelings of loneliness, anxiety, or disconnection and desires to withdraw from their new community. It can even include symptoms of physical ill health.

Homesickness is typically felt most strongly in the first few weeks of college, but it can begin later in the year. It can also come back, especially after extended holiday visits home. While it can be emotionally painful at times, homesickness is a normal and temporary response to a significant life transition.

How to Deal with Homesickness

Here are some ways to speed up the process of adjusting to college and getting past uncomfortable feelings of homesickness:

• Know that feelings of homesickness are normal and temporary. Some studies indicate that more than half of all students feel homesick in their first year of college.¹ While the students around you may seem happy and fully adjusted to college, many of them are likely feeling homesick, too. It's OK to miss the people and places you've left behind. Understand that it takes time to adjust to a new place, new people, and new routines. As you become more comfortable at college, the homesickness will go away.
• Get out and explore. It's tempting to stay in your room when you're feeling down or lonely. To get past feelings of homesickness, however, you'll do better by getting out and exploring the campus and your new community. Find someone to show you around, or simply wander and see what you find. Becoming familiar with your new surroundings can help you feel more at home there.
• Decorate your room. Make it yours. Set up pictures and objects that make you feel comfortable. Combine pictures and reminders of home with things related to special interests and passions. Over time, add pictures of new friends and new activities at college.
• Get involved. Find out about teams, activities, and clubs that bring students together for fun or common interests. As you meet people, make new friends, and become engaged in activities you enjoy, you'll feel the homesickness gradually fade away. Look on the college's website and bulletin boards in common spaces. Ask about groups, activities, and events in the student-life office:
  • Go to events hosted by the college, dorms, or departments, especially events for new students.
  • Take a class at the fitness center.
  • Join an intramural sports team.
  • Go to introductory meetings of clubs and activity groups.
  • Sign up for an outing with the outdoor club.
  • Find out about opportunities to play music, sing, act, or use spaces for creating art.
  • Volunteer for community service projects.
  • Connect with a spiritual or religious community.
• Share your feelings with others. It's common for students who feel homesick to keep it to themselves, but that doesn't help them. Talk with your roommates or other new students about how you feel and how you're adjusting to life in college. They might share their own feelings of homesickness, which can make you feel less alone, or they might help you make new connections and try new activities to get past your homesickness. You might also talk with your resident advisor (RA) or older students for ideas on ways to be more engaged and become more comfortable at college.
• Keep in touch with the people from home (but not in too close touch). Family members and old friends are always just a text message, post, or phone call away, so it's easy to stay in touch. Those connections can help you feel less lonely in your first days and weeks of college. However, don't rely on them as your main social ties. You might schedule a call home once a day at first, or once a week as you become more comfortable with college, but then focus your efforts on settling in and making new friends where you are and becoming more engaged in your new life.
• Plan a date to go home for a visit. Knowing you have this on your calendar can be a comfort. It can also help you resist the urge to make unplanned visits, especially if your home is not too far away. Holiday weekends and longer breaks make good times for home visits (if that's possible, given the distance and your budget). Try to limit trips home to about three a semester so you experience what college has to offer on normal weekends.

Know when to seek help.

If these tips aren't enough for you, and your feelings of homesickness are long lasting or are interfering with your studies and your social life, you might benefit from talking with a mental health professional. Contact your college's health service to see what supports are available to you. You might also find a psychologist or mental health counselor on your own.

Reference

1. English, T., Davis, J., Wei, M., & Gross, J. (2017, February). Homesickness and adjustment across the first year of college: A longitudinal study. Emotion, 17(1), 1–5. doi: 10.1037/emo0000235