Returning to Work and Leaving Your Baby
Returning to Work: The Toughest Transition
Being a working parent creates a challenging adjustment for you and your baby. There are a few important things for you to consider when you have made the decision to return to work.
Prepare yourself.
Realize that you may feel anxious or guilty about leaving your child in the care of others. Seek out people who will understand these feelings, like other employed parents. Be sure you have made backup care plans for the unexpected, last-minute needs you will have. Conduct a couple of trial runs, driving to the office at the time you will be traveling, including the additional stop needed for taking your child to care (if applicable). Check with your coworkers to find out what important changes occurred while you have been away. Consider getting help with housework; even taking your ironing to someone else will free up more time for yourself. Take care of yourself by eating well, drinking plenty of fluids, and getting plenty of sleep.
Prepare your baby.
Most mothers have a difficult time leaving their baby for the first time, and this is normal. However, a baby depends upon you for a sense of security and comfort, so it is important that you remain calm so that this transition goes as smoothly as possible. Prepare your diaper bag the night before, so that all you will need to do is pick it up and leave. When possible, leave extra clothing, diapers, and other essentials with your caregiver so you have less to take back and forth from home. Be sure to have a special blanket or toy that your baby is familiar with. Having these objects nearby will provide your baby with reassurance. Even more important: take the time to choose a trusted, knowledgeable, nurturing professional caregiver for your baby. This will benefit your child in many crucial ways and give you both a sense of security.
Take time to transition.
Start exposing your baby to the child care arrangement you have made at least one week before you need to return to work. Spend an hour or so with the caregiver, and increase this time as the week progresses. Let your caregiver know your preferences related to feeding, changing diapers, and nap time. If it is possible, return to work on a Wednesday or later in the week. This will make your first week back to work a short one and a little easier for you and your family.
Talk with your employer about whether or not you might have the option to transition back into your former full-time schedule gradually. See if you can work from home part of the week, or consider working part-time (three days a week) or at a reduced schedule (six hours or less per day), if this is an option for you.
How to Say Goodbye
Babies cry because they would rather be with their parents than with anyone else in the world. In most cases, babies will cry when parents leave but stop crying very shortly after they have gone. Most babies who are six months old or older are affected by separation anxiety. Babies with separation anxiety cry intensely when they are left in the care of someone other than their parents. This stage of development is normal and healthy. It is very important for the child to develop trust and confidence in the person who is providing care. Always take the time to say goodbye to your baby, but don't prolong your farewell, even if your child begins to cry. Create a little goodbye ritual by providing comfort and then leaving. This helps the baby adjust to the idea that you are going. When you come to pick your baby up, a hello ritual will provide reassurance that you will always come back. It is inadvisable to sneak out on your child—this is frightening and teaches your baby that you cannot be trusted!
Be patient.
As difficult as this transition is, your baby will quickly adjust to your return to work. Young children are resilient and accommodating, most of the time. Don't be upset if your child remains a bit clingy at first. Once your baby is sure that his or her parents can be trusted and that they will come to pick him or her up every day, your child will start to relax and enjoy this new situation. As your child becomes more comfortable with the care arrangement, find ways to ease your transition from work to home. Take five minutes at the end of the day for yourself before you pick up your baby. If you get less than a warm reception, it will be easier to handle. Babies sometimes ignore you when you return from work. This is their way of reminding you that they weren't too happy about being left there earlier in the day. This is not a cause for concern; babies quickly settle in and remember that you are still the most important people in their lives.
Workplace Options. (Revised 2025, April). Returning to work and leaving your baby. Raleigh, NC: Author.