Tips for Long-Distance Caregiving
Here are tips for helping to care for parents or other adults who require assistance when you are at a distance from them.
Finances
If you find your parent cannot handle his or her finances, get
- A durable power of attorney, which gives you the right to manage the money (A regular power of attorney is not applicable if your parent becomes incapacitated.)
- A list of income and assets—You can protect more income from your parent's savings by moving money out of a passbook account into a certificate of deposit, or taking a loan against an insurance policy. A joint bank account with your parents is useful for paying the bills.
- Automated bill paying—Certain income, like social security benefits, can be wired directly into your parent's account. Many bills can be paid automatically—for instance, the mortgage, insurance, and utilities.
- A supplemental health insurance policy. This can cover the gaps in Medicare, but there is always the risk an aging parent might forget to pay the premiums. Stay aware of this by asking for duplicate bills to be sent to you.
- Insurance claim forms for medical bills. Under the law, your parent's doctor has to enter a Medicare claim. But, it is up to you to catch the Medicare mistakes and to collect on private insurance claims.
Health
Try these tips if your parent needs health and household help:
- Make a safety check of the house. Are the lights bright enough? Can you get rid of throw rugs? Should the door sills be removed? (They are a major cause of falls.) Does your parent need a stool in the tub, a higher toilet seat, or a stair elevator?
- Arrange for health and personal care. This is a struggle even for children nearby, let alone for those who live some distance away. Fortunately, most communities offer a web of services, both public and private. Sometimes, it can take time, personal visits, and (usually) money to line up all the help you may need.
- Propose a living will and medical durable power of attorney. A living will allows parents to express their wishes while they are able. A power of attorney appoints someone to make medical decisions on their behalf.
Other Issues
- Identify your parent's current support system. Find the doctors, lawyers, bankers, religious or community organizations, friends, and neighbors who may be able to help. Express your appreciation for their involvement, and ask them to call you if something is amiss.
- Call your employee support program and your local Area Agency on Aging. Both can provide free information (like booklets or tip sheets) on elder care and a directory of local services, such as Meals on Wheels, adult day care, financial aid, senior citizen discounts, and other services. The Area Agency on Aging can also provide access to free care managers who will visit your parent, assess any health or homemaking needs, and suggest services that can help. The employee support program can provide research to locate these services on your behalf.
- Consider a private care manager. This growing field is served by nurses, social workers, care managers with specific experience in adult care issues, and other resources. For a fee, they will visit your parent and make a report. For additional fees, they will find home health workers, recommend nursing homes, pay regular visits to your parent, and provide other expertise and in-person support.
Workplace Options. (Revised 2024). Tips for long-distance caregiving. Raleigh, NC: Author.